Its been a long time since I posted anything. I feel that life has been busier then normal but it most likely has not been. I am so blessed with a wonderful family. Xander is my best little friend and we have so much fun lately being outside and planting our garden and doing all the work that comes with having our home. This year I was so determined to have a garden this year and we already have a few things planted that are stronger plants that wont die if it frosts. Xander is my watering buddy. He waters his strawberries every day and he helps me clean up the garden and water it. 

In a week here we are going to be taking some training so we can become foster parents. We have decided that there are other ways to fill our house with children if we arent able right now to have more. Xander loves to have other kids at our house and I think there are so many children out there that could use a good place with people who care that it made so much sense to open our home up. I cant wait until all the training and evaluations and home studies and everything else are done and we can start meeting some new little people. I have been praying about this and Im so excited to see what the lord has in store for us. 

Life just keeps moving!

So its been far to long since I have written on my blog and time just seems to be adding up on the things that I would like to write about. 

December was a wonderful month for my family. We loved celebrating CHRIST for the whole beautiful season of Christmas. It was lovely to get to enjoy the season in our own home for the first time. Xander loved the nativities and crafts and books we were able to enjoy and of course the treats and presents that come with the season as well. I am so glad that we are able to enjoy such a fabulous time of year in a place that allows for us to have the freedom to do so. 

When the New Year came in it brought new challenges and trials that I did not feel ready for and it was a real struggle for a while. At the beginning of the month my beautiful cousin Teina was in a car accident and less then three weeks later she was brought back to live with My Father in Heaven once again. I went through more emotions then I care to share but I learned important things and re-learned important things that I feel it important to share. 

1. I confirmed and solidified my faith in the plan of salvation and eternal families. I always believed, but I was comforted beyond that which any mortal person could comfort, as I know that much of my family was as well. What a comfort to know that this life is but a small moment, and if though ENDURE IT WELL though shall be blessed. Teina endured this life well. She was a shining example in this life and I know she continues to be a light and missionary in the blessed life yet to come.  

2. Sometimes you just have to be BRAVE. I started off so worried about talking to anyone about Teina because I was worried I couldnt hold my composure and end up uncomfortably blubbering to someone, but I learned the more I prayed for strength and took a brave moment I was able to move past that fear. I have had many teaching moments and moments to testify of my knowledge of eternal families because I was brave enough to speak about something that was hard. I know that is what Teina would want me to do and she would be proud of me for being brave. 

3. Even if we feel alone, like nobody knows how we feel, WE ARE NEVER ALONE. My savior suffered in the garden and on the cross so that I would never have to suffer any trial alone. No pain is mine alone whether I choose to share it with my savior or not he has already paid for it. What an amazing gift he has given me and everyone who has ever lived, lives or ever will live. Who are we to not take advantage of this gift and use it to the best of our abilities. 

I enjoy my life. Every trial I am blessed with will make me stronger because I choose to be stronger because of them. 

Here are a few more of my favorite pictures from the last little while. 

My handsome husband and I celebrated 4 beautiful years together with a wonderfully romantic anniversary. Jim is not usually ever romantic. He tells me he doesnt really know how to be when I used to ask him why he didnt ever break out the romance.. lol But I was so impressed with all the thought and love that went into him planning our beautiful night out. I am so lucky that I get to spend eternity with this wonderful man. I could not have a better companion to go through this life with and raise a family with. He is such an excellent father, an dedicated provider and a loving husband. I am so in love with you Jim! 

Here are a few more from right around Christmas time. We built a Ginger Bread house like we do every year. This was the first year that Xander wanted to smash it right after we built it. I being the cruel mother that I am made him wait until after Christmas to do so. Can you tell which he enjoyed more? I think we have created a new tradition!

 Xander was so excited to visit Santa this year. He has never had a problem with sitting on Santa and He is such a believer. I just love his magical spirit and his imagination. 

Xander also really LOVES to play in the snow. He doesn't often care how cold it is. He will stay outside for hours and we will build and break and build and bread many snow creations. He really is so much fun. Another best friend for me in the future just like his daddy!

I could share pictures all day because I just love them but I will only add a few more. 

 I sure love my family. They are my favorite part of waking up. Such a blessing to have them forever! 

The real Meaning

On to Christmas thoughts!

My mom has always struggled with loving Christmas and to anyone who knows her this isn't new news. Don't get me wrong, there are few people in my life that I know have a love and testimony of our savior that is stronger then my mothers. But the season sometimes gets her down. The sparkle, wrapping, gimme gimme attitude that it had developed into is often very depressing. I understand why the season would get to some people. It seems like a contest for who can give their kids the most when we forget that what really matters most, often times costs least. I am determined to help these people love Christmas! Lets take things back a few years (oh 2000 or so) to a much simpler time. A time when a special mother and loving father searched to give a warm gift of shelter to their soon to be born son. A time when shepherds were given a gift from the angels to see the new born child and worship him. A time when Wise men came seeking so they could give precious gifts to a babe they knew was more precious then anything they could give.  A time when a loving Father in Heaven gave the greatest gift of all to us, His son. Let us not forget the real reason we celebrate. We celebrate the birth of our savior. Who was born and lived for us so that he could and did eventually die for us. He died so that every imperfect person on this earth would be able to become perfect again through his atonement. He died so that we may one day live with our loving Heavenly Father. All of this we celebrate through the birth of a tiny babe. We celebrate his courage to come to this earth knowing all that he knew. We celebrate how much he loved us. That my friends, is what CHRISTmas is all about. Please don't forget it and get mixed up in the glitter. Remember that it is not in the amount that is spent but in the amount that is loved that Christmas memories are measured.

I love you all and I encourage you to find a way to celebrate the true and everlasting meaning of Christmas.

Talia

Christmas Is my Favorite!

I just love the season of Christmas. I love the songs, the smells, and the kindness that comes out in people I don't even know. I have been trying since Jim and I got married to do some sort of Christmas card for friends and family but I have let to many things get away with me and before I know it I am way to late. Well this year I am not going to let it get the best of me. 

I had Jim and Xander come and smile for a few simple pictures right before church on Sunday and wa-la we have some family pictures to make a Christmas card. I am excited about them! So I figured I would share them with you. Zemps 2014!

First Snow

So I know many places have had snow already but for our unique little Medicine Hat we just got our first big dump of snow. So naturally along with loads of snow comes shoveling. And of course I'm not talking shoveling with a big old snow blower like the little old man across the street who I am sure had a tenth of the snow around his corner lot that we got around ours. No I am talking good old fashioned shoveling that wet snow with a shovel  inch by inch because that white stuff weighs a million pounds. However, along with all my dislike for shoveling comes Xander's new found love of playing in the snow. He did enjoy snow last year but this year is so much better. For his birthday he got a snow sled from our good friends and even since then he has on many occasions asked me if he can go sledding yet. So when this morning came and I opened the blinds to let the beautiful shining snow flood its light into our house he got so excited. We ate breakfast as fast as we could. I took Xander potty and of course had to explain the importance of that choice before putting on snow suits (anyone read "I have to go Pee" by Robert Munch knows) and we got all suited up. We each grabbed our shovels and went to work. I shoveled the snow off the Ginormous Driveway and corner lot sidewalk (What were we thinking!) and he shoveled it back into the empty spaces I was creating as fast as his little arms could move that wet heavy snow. After a while he decided that shoveling was not for him so he went and belly flopped right into the snow and made a face down snow angel. HAHA he was not very fond of the snow in the face but that was one lesson I didn't have to teach him because next time he did it the right way. We did have a lot of fun in the snow. Aside from my sore arms and cold face it was a wonderful first snow of the season. We cant wait to go sledding for his first time. I think he will love it. 

(side note) For those who are looking for a way to store all there mittens and hats and scarfs so they don't end up a wet heap in your doorway here is what we are doing this year.

 

Our Cherry on top!

 For the last few weeks Xander has been getting so whinny and cries over the smallest things. The only time he is happy is when he is around other kids or his extended family. I have tried and tried for figure out why this is going on and have had no luck. Then about three days ago I sat him down determined to find out what was wrong. Xander told me that he was lonely and needed a friend to play with at his house. We talked about playing with friends and he told me maybe a pet could be his friend. Now most people would think this was a child's ploy to get a pet. However this had never been a discussion before and so my three year old boy had never been told no or yes. Jim and I talked about it and figured since we are having no luck having another child Xander could use a play companion. We were going to go for something small and we looked through a few stores and nothing really popped out at us. As we looked through the second store we laid eyes on a scrawny shaggy little orange kitten.

She was up for adoption from the SPCA and was only three months old. Xander loved her as soon as he laid eyes on her. However if anyone really knows me they know that a cat was the last pet I wanted in my home. Well Xander played in the play area at the store with her and he instantly loved her. He said mom we need to take her home.  Inside me is going really. Of all the pets in the world we are getting a scruffy orange kitten. Well we crossed all our t's and dotted the i's and bought all the necessities and now we have a kitten in our new home. She fits in so well. I never thought I would say I like cats but she and I have become buddies. She loves t cuddle me and she is looking healthier every day. She didn't eat or use the litter box for the first day and I was freaking out. And then day two she did both. Now she is eating and so comfortable here. Xander is happier and didn't whine because he wants to be an example for her. He calls her his baby or his girl and loves to carry her around to show her everything. I have slowly seen improvement and hope to continue.

I feel it is also teaching me a lesson. I have slowly been healing and now I don't cry every time I find out I'm not pregnant  but I still have not figured out how to get over the bitterness that sometimes seems to surround me every time I see someone have another child or announce the are expecting. Now don't get me wrong. I am so excited for these people. The bitterness and anger have been internal. Angry that something is wrong with me. Angry that it for some reason it can't be as easy as it was the first time with Xander. What have I done wrong is constantly circling my mind. But it seems to be easing for two reasons lately. I read something the other day that talked about having healthy relationships. Not because mine aren't but because I was worried about my attitudes affect on those closest to me. I decided, no matter what, I was going to change. The pain can't go away unless I decide to let it and it was not only hurting me but my relationship with my husband and son were starting to feel the pain and they shouldn't have to. So I have been trying to have more patience and do little special things reminding them I love them. It's a long process and I am nowhere near where I want to be but I am starting to feel a difference. The second this is this new kitten in our home. I feel my father in heaven is trying to teach me how to love unconditionally. I'm not a cat person. I still feel I never will be. But here I find myself loving and feeling protective of this baby cat. She loves me too. I feel I am still growing and learning and yes I know it is something as simple and a new pet. I don't know what the years will bring. Whether we will have more children or pets or none.

I do know and am really learning to accept that God works in mysterious ways. His ways are rarely mine but I am glad he helps me find ways to come to terms and accept, not understand but accept and that's enough for now. Someday I am sure I will come to understand and I look forward to that day.

Because I believe!

 Lately I have been challenging myself to try new things. My mom and I have often talked about all the wonderful ideas that we have found on the internet and in book we have read. We decided to adapt the mentality that if they can do it so can we. I have really enjoyed learning all these wonderful new things. 

One thing in particular that I have always been in awe of was bread. Some people make such beautiful loaves of bread and it really is an art form. Well a few years ago I made a new years resolution to only make home made bread that year. I figured it would challenge me to become better at making bread and by the end of the year I would be a pro. Well I wasn't and I was very discouraged. I couldn't figure out what I was doing wrong and so I stopped making bread. I didn't make bread for close to a year because I just thought it wasn't for me. Then the other day I watched a video on the internet that inspired me. This lady made the most beautiful bread and the way she did it was sop simple. It got my mind thinking "hey, I can do that", So I busted out my mothers simple bread recipe and tried again, and you know what.... IT WORKED. It proved to me that even after you fail miserably once, if you try again you just might succeed. Here I was working and working and working for a year to learn how to make bread and nothing, I had given up and as soon as I opened the door to try again success.

 Now I have decided that there is nothing I cant do if I put my mind to it. I read about it, I study it, I learn how others do it and then I just do it. I have been so happy with the outcome of my projects lately and all it took was a change in mentality. There is nothing I cant do.

The silliest part about this whole thing is that I have known this fact my whole life. I have been taught from the time that I was born that I am a daughter of God, and that through God all things are possible. It was something I always knew. I am capable of anything if I just believe in myself and trust in the Lord to help me. Something as simple and making bread can be a huge brick wall if you believe you are going to fail every time. Once you believe you will succeed and start to think "Hey I can do that" they you will be amazed at what you accomplish. 

I love to create things. I have fun showing Xander how to do it. He has learned to love helping me with every thing I do and would rather be with me working then playing with the coolest of toys. 

I believe in my Heavenly Father and in his son (my savior) Jesus Christ. I believe that through them there is nothing I cant learn and do. I am so happy to have this knowledge.