Wednesday, June 25, 2014

A New Chapter

So we finally did it. We moved into our very first home! It has been full of so many different emotions. I have felt like we have been on a roller coaster ever since we got our keys but I would want it any other way. I love my home. Jim has worked so hard to make it a wonderful, peaceful and beautiful place for us to be already. Xander loves having so much room to play and his own space again. His favorite room in our home is the crawl space under the main level that we have made into his play room. He would spend the whole day down there and we totally content to just pop up for food every once in while, which is beautiful to me as I try and organize the rest of the house. I started my summer holidays just this week so now I can really get cracking and organize my chaos. Its wonderful to be able to be home and getting things done again during the day, however I must admit the urge is huge to lounge all day in my jammies with Xman. Now that I am not working again I am going to work hard on writing more because I find it helps me to sort through my thoughts. I also have such a funny child that I really need to be better at writing down his moments so that they are never forgotten.
Here is one for the day, Xander and I went to my moms to hang out for a while and get away from his path of destruction he seemed to be on in our own home. We were all hanging out in the living room talking (totally boring for a little boy almost 3) and uncle Kimball is laying on his stomach on the ground resting his eyes. Xander walks over to him and proceeds to quote Frozen while trying to wake him up... "wake up, wake up, wake up," rolls over and lays on uncle Kimballs back "I cant, the sky is awake, so I'm awake, so we have to go play" oh it was the best moment of the day. When all is said and done, the food is spread across the floor and Jam on my rocking chair, marker on my couch and a freshly watered carpet, with Highlighted the parts he must have loved in the book I had just set down. This little boy can take all the frustration away in a heartbeat. He is my heart and soul.
I feel the need to share one more thing before I am done for the evening. I love my family so much, My husband is the absolute love of my life. I couldnt have asked for a better best friend. I am constantly amazed by how much he loves me through all the emotions and crazy that I put him through. He is always so call and constant. We have an amazing son, as I have mentioned who lights up our life and makes us so happy everyday. We are such a happy family and we have wanted for 2 years now to make our family grow larger but it has not been in the plans for us yet. I say this not to gain any sympathy because I dont need it, I say it because for the first time since I made up my mind that I wanted #2 I have finally become ok with accepting whatever our family gets. I feel I have wasted to many tears that could have been a smile elsewhere and to many thoughts that could have been happier on something else. I know my family is ment to grow. What I have come to accept is the timeline which is different then originally planned. It is hard for me at times when I have people ask me if I am pregnant again and my thoughts go straight to "I wish!" but trust me when I say when it happens again and I am blessed to carry another heavenly spirit into this earth it wont only be the heavens celebrating you might just hear me from where ever you may be. Until then I am content to wait in patience. I will pass this test, and when I do, I know the blessings will be beyond my comprehension.